


Loki's abused heart

by littlemissdeath



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Intersex Loki, King Loki, Loki Feels, M/M, Mpreg, Mutual Masturbation, Unwanted Pregnancy, violent Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:58:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5723572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissdeath/pseuds/littlemissdeath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Thor 1. Loki finds out he is Jotun and asks some hard questions. Thor loves him but expressions of affections become pain and confusion. Loki searches for meaning. Interex Loki, Jotun Loki, Thor/Loki, Mpreg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loki's abused heart

LOKI

But there's nothing we can do without defying Father.

Thor considers this, looks at his hammer, a gleam in his eye.

Loki can guess what he's thinking, grows concerned.

LOKI (CONT'D)

No... stop there! I know that

look!

THOR

The safety of our Realm is no jest.

We're going to Jotunheim.

SIF

Thor, of all the laws of Asgard,

this is one you must not break.

Loki looks on, intrigued by the proceedings.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that day

LAUFEY (CONT'D)

But I do. Go now, while I still allow it.

Thor simmers. Loki speaks up.

LOKI

We will accept your most gracious offer.

JOTUN

Run back home, little princess.

Thor stops in his tracks. Loki goes white. He knows what's coming.

LOKI

Damn.

The Jotun stream from out the icy ruins, towards the six adventurers. They valiantly try their best to fight them off. It becomes clear that they are overwhelmed. Sif and Loki call out to Thor. "We must go!" Thor turns to Loki and sees his brother and friends are not faring as well as he during the melee. He runs over to them. They carry Fandral as quickly as they can back to the landing sight.

The Asgardians stumble and jump and scramble their way across the ice. Periodically, turning to save off the encroaching Frost Giants. Laufey casts a powerful spell and the ice begins to shake and crack beneath them as they run. Laufey rides a shard of ice behind them. Loki stumbles and Laufey traps him in ice. He panics and tries to break the spell. Thor turns to see why Loki is not with them. He stops and is about to go back for him.

The giants surround them. Laufey holds Loki tightly around his waist with one huge arm. Loki struggles and pleases for his release. "Please! Thor! help me!"

"Let him go!" Thor stands strong with Mjolnir ready.

"Or what? No boy, I have a proposition for you. Tell the All-father that if he wants his son back, then he must give me back the Casket of Winters."

"And how can we guarantee you won't hurt Loki?"

"You can't. After all, Odin killed one of my son's when he was just a baby.."

"What! You lie, father would never do that!" Thor shouted. The warriors backed up towards him and they watched on all sides.

"I'm not surprised he never told you. But if you don't return, your brother is as good as dead." Laufey held and ice blade in his hand and held it to Loki's neck. Loki moaned softly, but fears any movement would mean his throat slit. He begged with his eyes to Thor.

"Don't worry Loki." he said softly. "I will return and save you. Please be strong." The adventures were engulfed in light and Odin landed amongst them. "Father! They have captured Loki! We must save him!"

"He would not be needing a rescue if you had not disobeyed my commands not to travel to Jotunheim!" Odin moved without fear towards Laufey. He glared down at Loki and then the light pulled them back to Asgard.

Back in the observatory. "Father, we must give them the Casket of Winters or they will kill Loki." Thor begged.

"No!"

"But he will kill him!" Thor begged, Odin turned and struck Thor with Gungnir. The warriors looked on in shock. Maybe the All-father was not as nice as they thought. Maybe the story of him killing Jotun babies was true.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Laufey looked up at the sky and then down at the small man struggling in his arms. He roughly grabbed him. He slipped one arm between his legs and his hand on Loki's chest. The other hooked under his arms. Loki felt a bit weird as the blood rushed to his head. He was being carried sideways back to the palace.

He worried if he was going to die and if not what would happen until they return. Then Loki's heart started to race as he came to the realisation that Odin might not want to trade, or even rescue him.

Laufey strode into a private room and the guards closed the doors. He kept hold of one of his wrists and dropped Loki down. Loki pulled but couldn't break the grasp. He looked down to see his glove and wrist guard disintegrate. Then his hand began to turn blue. Loki gasped ant looked down at it. He didn't know what was happening.

Laufey let him go and his arm began to return to normal. Loki held his hand up shaking and slumped to the floor petrified. Laufey looked at him with uncertainty.

"What are you boy?" Laufey swiftly grabbed him and lifted him effortlessly up to his eye height. "Huh?" he shook Loki and pushed his magic on him. Loki began to turn blue and his eyes glowed red. Loki could tell something was wrong and he looked down at his body. He then caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror.

He began to cry as he saw what his face now looked like. Laufey lowered him down till his feet touched the ground and Laufey squatted down so he was just a bit lower than Loki's eye height. Loki continued to sob. Laufey placed a hand gently on Loki's cheek. Loki panted and looked down at him. He didn't know why he was being nice to him. Or maybe he was just lulling him into a false sense of security.

"Loki, is it?" Laufey asked softly. Loki shook his head through his tears. "Please don't cry." Laufey smiles softly. This confused Loki more. "I thought you dead."

"Huh?" Loki panted.

"After the last battle for Midgard, the Aesir pushed us back her and attacked us on our home world. I was subdued at the point of Gungnir, wielded by Odin. I saw his men take the Casket of Winters. As Odin went to leave he took a baby that was being protected in the temple. My son. He was crying and Odin took him. As he turned they baby fell silent." Laufey smiled and looked at Loki with reverence.

"I thought then the baby had died. But, you are here before me!" Laufey then embraced Loki. He stood stunned. Unsure of what just happened. He felt a hand cup the back of his head and caress him. Loki pushed back and Laufey let him. He looked him in the eyes. "You are my son. My little prince."

"How? I didn't know I was Jotun..." Loki shook his head.

"It's ok, it's hard for me too." Laufey placed his hands on Loki's hips and directed him to sit down on the bed. "Please don't be afraid. I wouldn't hurt my own son." He took his hand in his and gently held it.

"My father... you are my father?" Loki stuttered. He looked down at the large hands holding his.

"If you want, I will give you some time. If you want you can travel back to Asgard. I think you have some questions you need to get answered." Laufey stood up. He towered over Loki. He held out his hand. Loki hesitantly took it. He nodded and swallowed hard. He closed his eyes and he became Aesir again.

Loki walked out into the plaza and looked up to the sky then back at Laufey. He smiled weakly and still unsure of what was going on. He was surrounded by light and drawn back to Asgard.

Loki stumbled and looked around. Heimdall stared down at him with sadness and nodded in understanding as he had seen what had happened. Loki looked over and saw Odin standing near Heimdall. He was holding Mjolnir. Loki was confused. He saw the warriors there but not Thor.

"So you escaped or did you just leave?" Odin said, not caring of his answer. He turned away and began to walk out of the observatory. Loki looked over at Sif who was upset about something. He didn't think it was over his capture.

"What happened?" Loki asked her.

"Thor is banished for leading us to Jotunheim." She turned and left with the others. Loki stood alone and looked down at the floor then at his hands to see if they were still blue. He walked slowly out of the observatory. He looked at the ground and dawdled back to the palace. He needed time to think.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki swallowed hard and walked into the vault. He breathed uneasy as he approached the casket. He didn't know why he was going towards it. He wondered if he should take it to give to Laufey or use it for his own means. He put his hands on it and slowly lifted it.

"Stop!" Odin shouted at him...

LOKI

Because no matter how much you claim to "love" me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!

Odin's body begins to shake, the effect of the Odinsleep approaching. Loki doesn't notice as Odin tries to fight it off.

ODIN

Listen to me!

the enormous mental, emotional, and physical strain of recent events finally takes its toll. The effect of the Odinsleep consumes him.

He collapses to the stone floor. Loki, shocked, hurries to him. He takes Odin in his arms, calls out.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sat in his room, scared and confused. At first he was worried that the guards would attack him for putting the All-father in Odinsleep. He looked over at a small crystal that Thor gave him once thinking it was magical. He held it and smiled. He didn't want Thor to feel bad and said it was.

He sat softly sobbing and decided he needed to get answers from the only person who seemed to accept him. he wondered into Frigga's chambers but she was not around. He eventually found her next to Odin. He sat down next to her. She put her arm around him and he leaned into her.

She gently stroked his hair. "Mother. Why did you lie to me?"

"We didn't want you to feel different." She turned to him and looked into his eyes. "We love you. you are our son."

"What will happen now?" Loki looked down at his hand.

"The burden of the throne will fall to you." She encouraged him.

"What?" he whispered.

"Thor is banished and your father may never wake. Until one returns, you must rule Asgard." She smiled at him and the priest came in and handed Loki Gungnir. He took it reluctantly. He turned to her, unsure if she was telling the truth.

"Mother, I.." Loki stuttered. "I will do my duty." Loki composed himself. He knew his own problems would have to take a back seat. He proceeded to the throne room.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sat quietly. It had been a few days since his world was turned upside down. He didn't know if he should go to Jotunheim or bring Thor back from Midgard. The warriors three approached looking for Odin.

"Loki? what are you doing?" Fandral asked like Loki was playing a joke. "Where's Odin?"

"My friends, I am now king of Asgard. Mother is by Odin's side and refuses to leave." Loki smiled weakly.

"King?" They reluctantly kneeled to the man who was much younger than he.

"I ask you not as king of the nine, but as a favour for a friend, that you travel to support Thor. He may not be ready to come back, but ensure he is honouring Father's wishes. That he learns from his banishment." Loki knew all too well the life of being banished. He wanted Thor back, but he also wanted him more subdued.

"We will do as you ask. My king." Sif almost rudely stated. Loki waited till they left till he resumed his throne. He looked down at his hand and worried about how it looked when he was Jotun. He decided to see what his magic was. He walked down to the vault and took the Casket of Winters and stored it with a spell.

Loki returned to his bedroom and began to slowly undress. He stood with just his pants on in front of the mirror. He touched his blue skin and returned to his bed, clutching a pillow. He sobbed softly unable to understand what was happening.

He lay in the dark worrying about everything. He heard the door open but didn't move. He felt a presence in the room. Then a familiar voice. He turned and saw Thor standing over him.

"Loki?"

"Oh Thor!" he sat up but realised the darkness was hiding his Jotun form. Thor turned on a light and gasped at the sight.

"Loki what are you using magic to look like that?"

"No. Not my magic. If anything, it was magic that was hiding this." He looked down ashamed and held himself with a hug. Thor sat down and to Loki's shock, he held him close.

"Oh Loki! what has happened little brother?"

"I'm not." Loki softly said. "I'm not you brother, I am not remotely related." He sobbed. Thor held him in a firm embrace.

"Don't be silly, of course you are. Do you not remember the life we have had? The times spent on adventures or feasting?" Thor held his head up and looked into his red eyes. "Loki, I still care for you." he kissed him softly and Loki pulled away embarrassed.

"Thor, I'm different now. I mean, I don't understand what has happened to my body." Loki wanted to hug Thor but was afraid.

"Well you have blue skin, but that's not really that much different." Loki remained seated and slipped off his pants. He sat next to Thor, he didn't get a response to his now smaller penis. He slid back slightly and parted his legs. Thor looked down and saw he no longer had balls but a vagina. Loki gently took hold of himself and lifted his penis so Thor could see him clearly.

Thor moved closer and gently placed his hands on Loki's thighs. He gently took hold of Loki and began to softly squeeze him. "Loki. have you tried to pee, I mean where do you go from." Thor was genuinely curious. Loki looked down confused. He didn't know.

"I'm not sure, I haven't gone."

"Have you touched yourself?" Thor gently rubbed his wet slit with his thumb.

"No. I.." Loki panted at the sensation. Thor bent his little cock over and rubbed the head against him. Loki grabbed Thor's wrist.

"Dose that feel good?"

"Yes!" Loki softly moaned. Thor let him go and stood up and quickly undressed. He climbed on top of Loki and lay him back on the bed. Loki placed his hands on Thor's forearms and hi poised over him. Thor leaned in and kissed him softly. Reassuring him.

Thor took hold of his fat cock and rubbed the head against Loki's virgin hole. He pushed the end in and Loki immediately moaned in resistance.

"Thor stop!"

"Ok, I won't go any deeper." He kissed him softly and kept mostly out. Thor could feel the tightness pulse around him. he was getting close. Thor moaned into a kiss and pulled Loki's hair. He exhaled hard. "Loki, I think I'm going to cum."

"Thor! I want you!" Loki moaned. Thor groaned as he thrust shallow and came. Loki could feel Thor's cock relax. He reached down and held Thor as he became flaccid. Loki wrapped his legs around Thor's waist and raised his him. taking the soft length all the way in. Thor exhaled sharply at the heat surrounding him.

Loki rocked his hips against him and felt the wetness flow between them. Thor reciprocated and realised that this was probably all he could take. Loki was tight around him. he kissed Loki deeply. Something felt right and Loki gripped Thor's hair tightly and pashed him.

Thor felt himself begin to grow. Loki panted and began to moan in slight discomfort as he felt him swell inside him. Thor thrust deep into him and Loki feared telling him to stop. Then he felt him hit his g-spot.

"Oh Thor!" Loki dug his fingers in and Thor took the sign and increased his speed. He felt Loki tighten and pulse around him. he didn't notice that Loki had started to bleed.

They moved in unison and Loki cried. He felt a strange energy building inside him. Thor knew he was close and held him close. Loki cried out as he felt the release. Thor followed after. They collapsed into each other's arms. Bodies covered in sweat. Thor looked lovingly at Loki's blue skin and gently stroked his cheek.

He was greeted by a naughty smile. Loki kissed him and felt his own cock grow. He pushed Thor onto his back and began to grind down on him. Thor grabbed him.

"Loki what are you doing?"

"Huh? I was going to return the favour." Loki sedately said. He reached down to spread Thor's legs and was immediately denied. "Thor?"

"I don't want you to do that." Thor sat up and was quite defensive. Loki looked at him in surprised shock.

"What? You don't want me inside you?" Loki's eyes filled with tears.

"I'm not gay. I don't like that sort of thing."

"Bu.. Thor! you are just like him!" Loki stood suddenly. He grabbed his cloths and as he got dressed he spotted the blood on the bed. He reach down between his legs and then examined his hand covered in cum and his own blood.

"Loki wait!"

"No! You just used me! I'm just some slut to you!" Loki ran off and grabbed his jacket. Thor quickly got dressed and pursued him. he found Loki going to the observatory.

"Open the Bifrost!" He yelled at Heimdall. He looked down and the little blue prince.

"Are you sure?"

"Don't question me gatekeeper!" Loki screamed. He turned to see Thor, Odin and Frigga approached them. "Oh brought spectators!?"

Frigga walked over to see him so distressed. "Oh Loki what happened?" she tried to reach for him and he pulled away.

"No! You are all the same!"

"What happened?" she pleaded.

"Oh I'll tell you!" Loki growled in an angry whisper. "It's your son! The mighty Thor is a rapist." Loki smiled at her shock. "Oh, just to let you know, he has just taken my virginity. The minute he finds out I'm an intersexed Jotun, he forces himself in. No regard for the fact he was hurting me. Probably reviling in the fact that my blood lubricated his conquest!"

"Loki!" Thor begged. "That is not true!"

"Oh really? So you deny fucking me till I bled?" He taunted. Frigga moved towards him.

"Loki, please stop this!" she begged.

"Why? You're not my mother, I don't have to heed your words!" Loki moved purposely towards her and grabbed her hair in a fist. She let him. "You are all the same." He whispered. Then kissed her deeply and grabbed her between the legs and squeezed. She moaned into his kiss. Loki shoved her away.

He then wiped his mouth in discussed. "See? You all just see me as some inferior piece of meat to use for your pleasure!" Loki grabbed the sword and plunged into the console. The Bifrost spun up and he strode into the light.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki remained strong as he strode across the ice. He stopped when he got near Laufey's palace. He collapsed to his knees and wailed. "Father! Help me!" He sobbed until Laufey picked him up and held him.

"Loki. don't worry, I won't abandon you."

He stopped crying and stood up. He took a deep breath and walked with Laufey to the palace. He suddenly grew confident, with a plan and strode up to the throne and sat in it. Laufey cocked his head a little surprised.

"Oh no Loki, you are far king of Jotunheim." He went to move to him and Loki stood up aggressively.

"Oh no father, you are wrong. It is my birth right."

"Yes, when I am gone, but there is nothing now that says you can claim the throne from me." Laufey was growing impatient. Loki moved his hands and the Casket of Winters appeared.

"Oh no? Really? I thought this would be a fair justification." He smiled wickedly. Laufey smiled back acknowledging his devious son. He then bowed and walked out with a smile.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few months...

Loki woke ill. He held his stomach and felt nauseous. He held up his hands and cast a healing spell. It didn't work. He had be wary lately as he suspected many did not want him on the throne. He felt he had been poisoned. He stumbled from the bed and felt to his hands and knees. He threw up and began to panic.

Laufey sensed something wrong and rushed to him. "Loki?"

"Oh Father! Someone has poisoned me!" He grabbed his stomach. "I can't heal myself!"

"Oh. Loki, you are not dying." Laufey pulled him up and placed his hance on Loki's stomach lovingly. "You are with child." He kissed the top of his head and smiled.

"Pregnant? How?"

"Really? You don't know about sex?"

"Oh course I know! I haven't had sex since I..." Loki put his hand over his mouth. "No.. oh no!"

"What is it Loki?"

"I need to get this thing out of me!" Loki pulled at his cloths.

"Loki stop." Laufey knelt down and held him. "Loki you cannot do anything till it is born, we are connected to our children till they leave us. If they are taken before they are ready to be birthed, we die. You must kill it after it is born if you want it dead."

"You don't understand. The last person to be with me.. the only person has been with me..." Loki sobbed and turned away. "Was Thor..."

________

A few months later.

A blue Loki sits on the throne of Jotunheim. He caresses his swollen belly. Looking down at his bare stomach protruding from his minimalist clothing. He wore a long cape with fur on the shoulders. Many chains adorned his body, neck and arms. Loki felt Thor's child move. He exhaled uneasy.

"Oh Thor, look what you have done to me." He spoke softly to himself. Loki felt his fingers shake as he was confused about what he was feeling. "I don't know what to do with you. Do I birth you and leave you as my father did?" Loki worried. The doors to the throne room.

Laufey approached him. "Loki, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Father, are you questioning my resolve or if I even have the mental strength to attack Asgard?"

"No. You have never been in a war. Your petty skirmishes and 'adventures' with the warriors of Asgard have not suitably prepared you for what is to come. I just think you underestimate the All-father."

"Odin will fall at my knees, as will his son!" Loki stood and held his hand up menacingly as he began to summon his sedir. Laufey acquiesced and broke eye contact.

"No offence was meant my king. I just don't wish to see you come to any harm."

"I thought you would." Loki smugly stepped down from the throne and towards the now kneeling former king. "With me dead you would return to the rule. But know this father.." Loki reached down and raised Laufey's chin to gaze upon him. "I am planning this to be a rival to Ragnarok. I will have my forces fight as if it is a one way journey." Loki swiftly turned and walked back to his throne.

Laufey gasped. "A suicide mission?"

"If they don't fight I will kill them myself." Loki looked down again at his belly then up at the throne. He smiled and then sat down and caressed the armrests like a super villain. He then burst out with a maniacal laugh.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thor sat depressed. The sun was warm and there was much merriment in the realm, but Thor could not see it. He looked down at Mjolnir. He had left it on the floor of his room when the day Loki left.

It was now gathering dust. He was still worthy, but Thor didn't want to wield it. Tyr came in escorted by the Einherjar guard.

"My liege, we have news from Heimdall." Tyr placed his hand on his chest and knelt before the bedraggled Thor. He raised his gaze through his unkept hair.

"News?" Thor sounded horse. "Of Loki?"

"Yes my lord." Tyr stood and so did Thor. His face lit up. Tyr raised his hand and shook his head. "I'm afraid it is not all good."

"What is the news, do not keep this from me!" Thor demanded.

"Sire, Loki is raising an army to attack Asgard." Thor released him and gasped. "I have told the All-father." Thor clenched his fist and looked at Mjolnir the grabbed it. He strode out with the guards to meet with his father.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Upon the ice the Jotun marched in columns behind a small group at the front. The proud and defiant king stood near the cave in the cliff face. He was flanked by his father and the king's guard. Loki moved his hands across his body and the casket of winters appeared. He closed his eyes and pushed his own spell on it and fired a blast at the cave.

A shimmering waterfall appeared and Loki smiled turning to his father. "The portal to Asgard is now open." Loki turned to the silent forces stretched out over the ice flow and yelled. "Asgard is ours for the taking!" the Jotun yelled back and they ran head long into the portal. Loki stood beside them and then he and his generals moved through.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The portal opened on the edge of the palace grounds and the Jotun streamed through. The people ran and there were few guards to even attempt to resist the icy force.

Loki strode through the melee and directed his generals of where to lead their attacks. Soon Asgard's defences kicked in and the Jotun were taking hits from above from the towers and flying skiffs. Loki turned the casket of winters on them and an icy blast made short work of them.

The force came up to resistance as they encountered the Einherjar guard at the entrance to the palace. Loki moved to the front of the pack and the Jotun spread apart giving him room. The guards paused as they were no longer being attacked they saw the small Jotun with long dark hair moving towards them carrying a box.

Loki smiled cruelly and then sent a beam across their forces and left the frozen statues in the foyer. The Jotun moved through and smashed the frozen figures and continued their assault on the palace.

The attack had stalled. The guards had begun to win in the city and with the portal now closed, no further reinforcements were coming. Loki had put almost his whole force into this attack.

They had penetrated into the castle. Odin easily took down those who tried to enter the throne room. Thor stood beside him effortlessly striking the incursion. One of the Jotun ran back to the Loki's location. He stumbled down to kneel before him.

"Sire! We have lost much of our force trying to get the All-father!" Loki knew he would have to confront them. He led his remaining force to the throne room. Loki slowed then stopped suddenly clutching his stomach. "My lord, are you hurt?"

Loki felt a pain grow as he got closer to Thor. He buckled over with the cramps. He gritted his teeth and stood defiantly, trying to fight through the pain. His eyes were filled with tears. "I will kill this child before it kills me." He took a few deep breaths and carried on. Loki went to use the casket of winters but could not concentrate.

He hid behind his men as he tried to compose himself. They held open the doors and fought. Loki held up the casket and the Jotun parted to allow him to wipe out their enemy. Loki screamed in pain and dropped the casket as he collapsed on the floor. He held his stomach and cried. Laufey picked up the casket and looked down at Loki.

"Get up. You are a disgrace to your race." Laufey taunted him. Loki moaned in pain and a small pool of black blood appeared beneath him. Loki put his hand between his legs and then inspected his hand. He looked up at Laufey and begged for help. Laufey turned and pulled his force back. One of the Jotun went to Loki's side.

"Leave him!" Laufey yelled. "We are retreating to Jotunheim!" Thor went to chase them. Odin stopped him. Laufey turned to Odin. He gave him a slight bow. "It was a mistake to let Loki lead my people."

"They are leaving. Let them go." Odin relayed the message to Tyr. The Einherjar realised they were no long being attacked and let the Jotun run. The Jotun swarmed together and Laufey led them to the Bifrost. Heimdall opened the portal and watched as the Jotun piled through.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Odin sighed and looked around at the dead and dying. "Tyr, have the wounded and dead Jotun sent back to Jotunheim. Call all healers from the realm to treat out people." He walked over to Loki, still sobbing in pain on the floor. Thor stood over him.

"Father, what has happened to Loki?" He looked down at his blue skin and red eyes. Thor squatted down and went too reached out to him. Loki flinched.

"Don't touch him." Odin grabbed Thor.

"But Father, he's hurt." Loki struggled to move away. He sat up slightly. Loki looked down and put both his hands around his stomach.

"Augh!" Loki groaned. He held his knees to his chest and spread his feet apart. "No no no.. Not now." Loki slipped his hand down and tried to stop slowly the flow of blood.

"Loki, what's happen to you?" Thor broke free of his father and went to his side. He put his arm around his back and took his blood soaked hand in his.

"Leave me alone Thor!" Loki cried as he tried move away. "Augh!" Loki bent over and held his stomach. Loki cried and put his hands down between his legs and covered himself. He felt the pressure building. He cried out as he strained.

"Loki! Are you?" Thor squeezed his hand. He looked down to see what was going on. Loki pulled off his loin cloth and slipped his fingers down to gently touch his vajina. He felt the top of its head. Loki looked up at Thor in desperation.

"I'm crowning, Thor... I don't want to give birth." Thor held him close as Loki screamed in pain. Loki cupped his hands as he felt the head start to push out. Loki spread his legs but he couldn't get a grip. There was too much blood on the floor, his bare feet slipped.

Loki pushed away from Thor and crawled onto his hands and knees. He stabilised himself and lowered his hips as he pushed down. He cried out as Thor sat in shock. He saw a head poke out then shoulders. Loki cried out again as he reached down to pull the baby out. He panted, weakened from his ordeal. Thor just watched as the baby slipped out onto the floor.

Loki turned over and sat away from the figure on the floor. The umbilical cord still connecting it to Loki. He wiped his tear soaked face. Now smeared in his own blood. Loki stumbled up to stand. He groaned as the afterbirth came free. Loki felt weak and his knees shook. He took a deep breath and stood up.

He held out his hands and cast a spell over him to assist in healing. Thor looked down at the baby. It was not moving and not making a sound. Loki turned back to is Aesir form. Thor moved over to the baby to see what was wrong. Loki smiling cruelly.

"There you go Thor. You can have it. After all you are its father." Thor saw that is was dead. His head snapped up at Loki. Surprised by his actions.

"Loki! What is this?" Thor stood up and moved towards him.

"It's a dead baby, dead, like what you are to me." Loki snapped. He went to storm off but Thor grabbed him. "Let go of me, or you will regret it." Loki looked down at the large hand on his bicep.

"Loki please, stop this!" Thor pleaded. He released him. "Loki, the baby.. Was it..."

"Were you its father? Yes." Loki looked at him coldly.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? I could have helped you so you didn't have to lose the baby." Thor was emotional. Loki didn't expect this. He decided to hurt him more.

"Loose? No I was always going to kill it. Unfortunaly, due to the way our bodies work, Jotun cant abort a child till it can be born or it will kill us too. We have to sever our connection to our life-force." Loki placed his hand on Thor's cheek. He smeared his blood on it.

"Loki? Why would you kill our child?"

"Our child? There never was a 'we' in order to have an 'our'. No Thor, you did this to me, you drove me away. You and Odin." Loki looked down at his Aesir cloths and realised the irony of now being Aesir. Looking like all he despised. He didn't really want to be Jotun either. And now that his father left him, he knew where his loyalties lied too.

"Yes Loki. There was a 'we'. I loved you more than life. Couldn't you see that?"

"Loved? Past tense, so you no longer are interested in me?" Loki was always quick to pick apart anyone that used the wrong words.

"No, I love you, I just meant.."

"No! Don't try and change what you said! You don't care about me, you may have thought you loved me, but at what cost to me? Did you ever consider my thoughts on the subject? Whether I ever wanted you to rape me?"

"I never raped you!" Thor grabbed him and pulled him close by cupping the back of his neck. "Please Loki! Let me help you!"

"Please don't." Loki was quiet. He dropped his gaze. "I don't want help. I don't deserve it." Loki began to cry. Thor pulled him close and Loki collapsed into his arms completely. He was exhausted and emotionally drained.

"You are always welcome here. I will never stop loving you." Thor slowly knelt down holding Loki in his arms. He rocked him back and forth slowly. "I will always protect you."

Loki opened his eyes slightly at saw Thor's tears roll down his face. Loki reached up and brushed Thor's face. "I'm sorry Thor."

"Don't be."

"I lied to you." Loki said softly.

"So what's new?" Thor smiled slightly. He brushed Loki's hair from his face.

"I didn't kill the baby. It died inside me, I wasn't developed enough for child birth." Loki's bottom lip quivered and Thor looked deep into his eyes. "Oh Thor, I wanted to be loved by someone. I just wish I was better, that I was even close to what you desired in a lover."

"We can be. You just heal and I will help you feel better."


End file.
